in my little world

In the jar I captured a street lit up at night. Tiny people dressed and dancing in the town square.  I don't know what caused their celebration.  The women wore elaborate ball gowns. The type that are time consuming not only to make but to get into.  That told me this wasn't a spur of the moment occasion. Why weren't they inside of grand ballroom but instead dancing in the street.



It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

Communicating yes I am really trying

I'm currently working as a flex.  I work with numerous people and personality types.  This basis creates a free flowing exchange.  I'm dealing with people who have worked together a long while ( 2 decades).  I was speaking to a group of gals (we are all approximately the same age). They were talking about music.  One said "remember when wango tango started"?  I said "yeah ted nugent" they continued talking, like I didn't say anything, about mariah carey.  I'm thinking what?  Anyhow I'm destined to be an oddball.  That's fine by me.  I see things differently yes I honestly do.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96ll

A Modest Proposal

Fetus the other white meat

It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

I

I know I'm not supposed to talk about unfairness.  Why because unfairness is just that unfair.  It's not something to focus on.  Even though noticing it creates a feeling of unease it should never be a focal point of a setting.  I was schooled to think that way about these things.  Paving the way for blessings and grace.  Creating the feeling of want.  To know what you want is the biggest challenge in a lifetime.  To know oneself.



It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

Human Nature always one step away from primitive

The oil cap on my car has a capital S on it.  The mold used to make that oil cap was created with the S to be the primary feature. Next are the scalloped grooves around the edge to grip and turn the cap.  I think the letter should have been an O for oil. Or a P for my first name initial. I paid for it should be able to identify it as mine.  I keep hearing blah blah about automated, robotic, pinpoint specific, deliver to your door step, 3D print anything.  I should be able to monogram everything I purchase within the production line. I have the right to be an autonomous human.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

You've cordially invited me to Fuck off? (rsvp for details)

Operating under the directive: screw up precisely enough to force every issue into arbitration.  I know I'm stupid for not realizing this long ago.  It is about fairness, not about persevering.  It is about slinging mud so we are all at the same level back to the beginning.  The problem with that is even covered in mud it is impossible to change a perception once it has been formed. Made impossible by the compound nature of hearing loss that accompanies a singular point of view.  Manifesting an illusion to fill in the spaces left blank for truth.  Covering over the hard work of fact finding by completing an image perfectly confirming the easiest possible conclusion.  I can only conclude by the amount of time this has continued under the aforementioned circumstances this will not change in my lifetime.  Therefore I will have to conclude this is my life.  It is a quiet grief I will feel having witnessed the formation and ultimate destruction of such potential.  Our paths of destruction crossed.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

I won't be able to make my car payment this month.  Without that vehicle my travel will be limited.  It will change a number of arrangements I have set up.  Not having that vehicle any longer will solve the problems created by owning it.  When I think of it that way I can see it as part of the journey.  Why get frustrated about this.  I have no control over other things and I let them run their course.  This is me being part of the process. This will decide for me what is available to me.  This is change and I 'll see where it takes me.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

I don't know how to determine if I am officially poor.  I have too many things I'm worried about.  I don't want to ignore it all but I don't have the means to change any of it.  At least not that I'm aware of.



Matthew 6:34
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

* Ecclesiastes 9

It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

People get attention by behaving badly, good people get ignored.



It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96