7/9/2011 it's....it's because
I never get the chance to use the word 'our' when writing. It's because, I imagine, it's what I do.
10:55 am pdt6/4/2011
When the mountain has an itch
4/4/2011 empty space of forgotten
voices once heard now silent
people once alive now dead
as the present is opened
revealed:
an empty space of forgotten
2/12/2011 Today I woke singing
I will truth
I will love
I will happiness
nettle, thorns and stew.
Bathe in the dust,
sing in the dark.
The curtain, it's certain.
11/7/2010 Teirs
Shedding 'teirs', freedom expands the boundaries of what is known.
1:32 am pdt11/5/2010 Invisible things don't need to hide
I wonder what is the matter. I noticed something missing. Not found in it's normal place. I need it to do what it always has done. Ever since I can remember. Could it be I have lost the ability, grounded, why do I sense this loss. Everything changes it's time to let go. So, really it's nothing new.
5:17 am pdt10/9/2010
Instead I chose a different path that better suited my cadence.
9/13/2010
At a point in time when everything was going good, troubled by the certainty. Underneath the chaos, did I deserve better.
9/8/2010 a picture
Her unblinking eyes and static smile make her look permanently attentive, and disinterested at the same time.
11:59 am pdt8/31/2010 equal
We're all created equal, until we speak.
7:34 am pdt8/26/2010
My dreams have all died, because they were nightmares for you.
6:52 am pdt8/22/2010 Dichotomous living
Allowing for new discovery, new ideas, new feelings, all the things that were cast off and ignored. To acheive the highest potential of what is possible all things must be considered. That has yet to happen. The old method of thinking set aside too many valuable notions. It is too late to try and make room for them now. A new way of relating to life is possible for a generation that has yet to struggle with what concepts are important, the things that make up their lives. Who will stand in their way? Who will tell them no? Who will attempt to harness and control their perception?
Dichotomous living the flow
8/15/2010
I've been wrestling with the concept of the 'set in stone' path of life. I marvel at the steadfast nature of beliefs.
1. This is what we all think (mimic) •Revolutionary because someone is saying it. •How to act from now on. (stereotype) •Demonstrated through actions. (acceptance) •Dependant on outside influence. 2. This is what a select few think (elite) •Ingenious in that there is no choice. •How to act under certain circumstances. (manners) •Demonstrated through outward appearances. (standards) •Dependant on predictability. 3. Only we think this way (isolate) •Liberated through realization. •Reaction. (maintain control) •Demonstrated symbolically (impractical reality) •Dependant on opposing views. pot o' gold
Like a pot of gold. Found in a hidden place. Always full. It's value secure. Never needing, never wanting. A value diminshed to it's core. I'm not like them, I'm different you'll see, It's not fair to ask me to prove my worth. Why should I hide my good deeds.
6:56 am pdt7/26/2010
eaten an apple, close to the core
swallowed a seed, bitten and chewed
tasted a flavor, not forgotten
shaped like a star, further away
beget and begotten
forget and forgotten
7/23/2010 in this valley
There is an agenda in this valley that becomes visible anytime you stretch your arm out from your body. Sometimes it feels like a punitive smack. Other times there is a slow burn. Always there is a feeling of isolation, and uncertainty. A feeling of desperation can occur instantly. Another common sensation is that of being abandoned. The feeling of being swindled flashes dimly and consistently. I think it is why I love this area the way I do, because no one can escape the ever present current that fills this valley. Surrounded by a turbulence of emotions like a body of water. I've watched it's effects on people. I lived it's effects on me. I was drawn here because the reality of my life left me no options, and no comfort. I found a place that over amplified my real life, and strangely found a sense of accomplishment, a victory.
6:43 am pdtAt first I felt envious. I recall thinking everyone is rescueable except me. Then I realized I was condemned to swim freely. Surrounded by misery. People drowning in this sea of emotion. I found a place I could connect with. A place that expected something of me. A place that gave back to me, and responded to my actions. A connection to the land. A place to grow roots. 7/21/2010 easily
In the desert water moves along the ground unable to penetrate. A lack of water created barrier. Water turns to mud, sticks easily to travellers feet. With a willingness to be carried away. Easily an irritant, easily dried and brushed away.
12:02 pm pdt7/19/2010 stance
dance
trance
instance
resistance
The edge of my vision I see, things that aren't there, my imagination, my cage. Trapping me, tamed. At the center of my vision straight ahead, is nothing, everything. My hands down at my sides, my feet beneath me. Planted and growing.
Flowers dance in a field from atmospheric pressure, pushed, shoved. The spotlight sun demands a performance. Without an audience there is freedom. Freedom that happens when things can be forgotten. Remembering comes with the risk of knowing. Knowing has an urgency that requires, expects. Harnessed. Tamed.
7/17/2010
Life will never stop long enough for me to get my turn, all I get is every moment that I breathe.
12:49 pm pdt7/14/2010 wanting
a structure built on a foundation
a structure built from the top down is like an outstretched arm, lacking a base. Idealing a fall to the ground, take root.
Too many the hero built into the structure.
7/12/2010 The responsibility of knowing the quality of truth.
Does the quality of truth matter?
Am I to believe you wanted to go through all this out in the open?
Exposed to judgment. Evaluated by jagged unrefined emotions. Dissected and analyzed, by strangers. To be evaluted by the unqualified masses. For what? What for? a trophy to sit on a shelf to collect a layer of dust to breathe life into when you need affection. 7/8/2010 There is a big diifference
between small details, and few details
8:00 pm pdtearthquakes
Is the earth angry when it shakes.
Trying to assign emotions to a situation when few details exist. Drawing conclusions out of frustration. Making plans in anticipation. Where does my life begin within this maze of confusion, a constant changing process. This place where nothing matters.
7/5/2010 The day after independence day
I always expect a big shake up, a jolt in reality. I guess it's just me that this sort of thing happens to. My mind fills with thoughts, I presume are of my ancestors. In those moments I can see clearly. Before today is over I'll realize the only place I've gone was in my mind. It's always interesting to encounter people that seem as if they have read my thoughts. It starts as a coincidence, and then goes into a different direction. A misinterpretation takes place, but the reason this happens is unknown. (intentional, or ignorance) Why would a sane person want to try and understand a person that appears to be insane. Who knows what their ancestors are telling them. Living relatives shape our perspectives as much as our deceased relatives. The popular notion that people are inspired by world events, strangers, chance encounters doesn't make sense to me. Humans aren't interchangeable. That's the concept used to sell products. If the truth is we are interchangeable what is jealousy, greed, fear? If we are interchangeable why aren't we all suspects in every crime that is committed. If we are indistinguishable from each other. Who benefits from people believing we are all alike. Who benefits from people believing our lives are interchangeable? Who benefits from people believing we are indistinguishable.
5:22 am pdt7/4/2010 exaggerated living
choosing freedom over insanity
8:00 am pdt7/3/2010 This is a symbol of me
) I (
9:25 am pdt7/2/2010
perfectly like pieces of a puzzle
5:49 pm pdt6/30/2010
How little we humans know about each other. Human understanding is by far the most abusive (and abused) of all interaction.
This, the time of last straws, the breaking point. The boundary of self, the things that don't change. The place were winners find emptiness, and losers find meaning. Anything more is insanity, anything less is too. 6/27/2010
The world of nature is waiting for you to wrestle with your truth. A thing called trust comes at a price, it's not for sale, because you have to earn it.
7:00 am pdt6/25/2010 in divid u al
dna and finger prints tell us we are each unique individuals
1:43 pm pdt6/24/2010 Choice is an enviable position
deciding
getting what is wanted
knowing what is wanted
finding
when choices become available
moving through life
seeing the effects
focus changes
6/21/2010
I hate the inbetween places
I never know what do to, even though things always work out fine, times like this always make me nervous
6/19/2010 for-rest-for-the-trees
you say, you say
5:47 am pdtyou say I'm being difficult? no way, no way no way I'm in control today, today today is just like yesterday until, until until the problem solved 6/14/2010
before I never looked back, now I have to look twice
7:31 pm pdt6/9/2010
Those who can 'deal with' reality.
Those who can't 'deal in' reality.
6/4/2010
exhaustion, weeding and uniformity,
growth that is quick, and sporatic.
chaos and the irregular nature of being
6/1/2010 opulent
Weeds will grow in the roadway if everyone avoids them. People continue growing too, just because you don't know I'm here doesn't mean I don't exist. Ignoring something doesn't make it vanish.
5:25 pm pdt5/26/2010
Things that need to be considered, when adventuring through life:
5/15/2010
I have found that most people figure out during their life how to create the illusion of happiness, or misery. I think it is a shield (persona). What a person feels within or without is for them to tune into. If I am too stupid to see the Emperors fine new clothes, it is my right to be happy about that. Playing along rarely means agreement.
9:48 am pdt4/18/2010
There are plenty of things that can't be changed, but people are led to believe they are making changes. I think there's confusion because though maybe things can be changed superficially, there is no real change taking place.
4/14/2010 The cog in recognize
In another era distorting a persons perception was considered magic, and punishable by death. We live in a time it's common for people to distort perceptions. The illusion of wealth. The illusion of intelligence. Fata Morgana, mirage. Weary travelers can be led astray, seeing an image that isn't there. Most of the planet earth has been traveled. Modern technology helps us to find our way. Exploring the territory within ourself is the journey of life. The power of the individual is no illusion. The art is knowing how to recognize what is real.
4:32 am pdt4/12/2010 Rapt in knowledge.
being female is a territory. To explore the territory of the feminine. For a woman it is what is expected of us. For a man to explore the feminine it is manipulative. There are reasons why reality has many perceptions. There is no envy amongst women, we each in our own way want what is best for others. The problem is expressing feelings. Duality serves to communicate lesser acknowledged ideas. To create a fullness, a richer experience. A place for everyone. The mysteries of life are gray areas for a reason. To bring illumination. The constant is the gray, without it there are no possibilties. To bring something to light to acknowledge it fully binds. Rapt in knowledge. To address and undress.
8:29 am pdt4/11/2010 Information seeking
To identify quality information, and truth.
The responsiblity that comes with knowledge gained. A guy showed me a picture of a plant, and he told me it's name. I remarked that I saw them growing where I live. He said how did you know what to call them? I said you just told me the name. He then told me it took him a very long time to discover the name and lots of effort on his part. I just had to talk to him and I got the information without the difficult work.
from blog entry July 1, 2008
ah...to not know
I was sitting at a red light, yesterday,
window rolled down. I could feel the warm breeze blowing, it reminded me of an Autumn wind. It made me turn my head to look for blowing leaves. To my surprise the road was covered with white flowers from the trees lining the street. I sat there amazed by how beautiful it looked on this hot summer day. I didn't want the light to turn green. How long did the leaf stay supple, before it crumbled, and her nakedness revealed, once again. Was the first sacrifice to regain control, an attempt to create a covering that represented what it hid to trick the eyes, trying to remember how it was to not know. 4/10/2010
People are often times pushed beyond the breaking point. The gray areas of human interaction. The place where we keep our hopes, our fears, and our dreams. Often times it can feel like people have access to places within our lives that they have not been welcomed. The mirror image it creates can be changed.
4:44 am pdt4/9/2010
When the life is dreamed becomes a nightmare, but you can't wake up because you aren't asleep. God created me from dirt. I feel like I am being worked like clay, continually shaped and formed.
4:12 am pdt4/8/2010
When things start to go this way, it is just a matter of time. Surprise turns to, knew it all along. It's nothing new, then 'waiting for you to catch up', shoved aside.
Do it all over it's all I can do.
effortless
pointless
meaningless
4/2/2010
a mirror image
a life unexplored
I always see what isn't there
3/31/2010
The paved road doesn't have the appeal of finding the hidden path
3/27/2010
people enjoy being lied to it's how they feel perfect
9:22 am pdt3/25/2010
repeating the same lies over and over and over. If you tallied the number it would equal a lie, a lie, and lies. No glamour, no glitz. I stand idle and witness the destruction. Your words become bolder, smashing, pulverizing. Blended with cunning for what, why, and who? By your own admission, your pubescent mind. To gather your followers, the willing, the boys who would cut off their penis to prove their loyalty to this strange and tortured idea you are selling. To forget they are men to dance and sing, to love, and imagine. Easy enough to point a finger at me and what you call my failure. I want you to celebrate stand tall and proud, and allow the feeling of nausea to over take you when you realize you've won, your manhood. Forgive me for enjoying. I am only a color you made sure to paint. You want to replace my memories with imaginary goo. While you suck the life out all that is real. I could stop you but why? Your birth right is beaming. Run to your people that hold you up high, it will never occur to them you can't reciprocate. You will try, you will see, you will find the same to be true. When it comes to shoe wearing who's wearing who's. You've chosen to fill their empty cup, the crack they put there serves it's purpose well. Being led astray merrily you go smiling and gushing they'll never know. The world needs for the losers to win, I applaud with the crowd and fade away, you wanted this badly, you've gotten your way. You'll wake up one day to a world that's changed, girls will be boys and men will be extinct. Rubber and plastic will be all that's left, cucumber salad chopped into bite-sized bits. I remember a world when feelings were real. I believe that things matter, now I see it's only matter. The more matter you can grab and hold in your grip. The mind is wasted on that ego trip. Fill your coffin to the brim, take a bite and chew, the original sin. Has winning made you want more? How far will you take this, who's keeping score? Your life is your choice now give me back mine, you took it without asking remember? Go to those you acknowledge and find your own way. I said there's nothing left you want me to yield. Your absolute commitment is shallow and you know it. They love you, and will never ask you to prove anything you say, the way that you choose. Your lies are still lies. Replace me with one, or one hundred of them, by your own words, you say they've inspired all that you do.
7:09 am pdtI can repeat your lies too. Made a name for yourself from the fringe of my life. Tell me that isn't true... 3/22/2010
It has taken me this long to finally realize you have not only won, but
3:12 am pdtyou have extinguished me...I am glad you won and happy for your success. With such precision you have carved out every ounce, and there is nothing left. I hope you find a use for it because in me that was being wasted. This is a time for celebration, I don't want to diminish that essential part. Paved...the way, sterilized, earnest. I didn't ask for this, my permission was never sought. I was never considered an equal, by design that is the impossible. With that I hope you can feel the fullness of your success, and rest in knowing this is all. regards, from the void 3/20/2010 'un'-original
I'm supposed to act like this isn't effecting me.
I'm supposed to be okay with how things are! You are healing. You chose to bring along all that baggage, don't ask me to carry it. You want to rescue everyone from the flood, so than can devour you because they are starving.
Cover their nakedness,
their un-original sin.
If tasting is a sin, vomit is redemption.
The side-show is repulsive. 1/16/2010 life creates a callous
When the pain is gone who will remember?
I push my feelings deeper inside.
If I tend to your wounds, you resent me for seeing you as weak. I remember that time, you would rather I forget.
I learned to not care because of what it creates for the future.
1/13/2010
I heard you call to me for help, my answer wasn't what you expected. The call was bigger than me, and I had to have my friends help, they know better than I do about such things. Don't be sad by what you've realized. You didn't ask me sooner because you weren't able to hear my answer, warning.
12:07 pm pst1/6/2010
Fate creates a boundary I can see it when I try to push beyond my reality. A maze of choices without the vantage of rising above the mundane. Changing what is, into what could be. The complexity of moving through destiny.
3:13 am pst1/1/2010 another trip around the sun
It's a new year and a new decade. I finally understand something that was never really clear until now. Men relate to women through manipulation, they aren't required to express themselves fully. They just play games with women for fun, because they can. They always win because they are supposed to. I see my prison concealed by selfishness.
8:27 am pst12/27/2009
Reality is difficult, without mastering the art of reality
12/9/2009
Talking about the weather used to be considered sacred, not man made
9:24 pm pst11/24/2009
What day did God create sound?
11/14/2009
Pretending is the source of discord
4:10 pm pst11/10/2009
Realization can propel understanding while everything else remains still. Eventually the effect is subtle compared to the intial jolt of reality.
10:21 pm pst11/2/2009
Round and yellow cream, backed by the blue, rabbit underneath she looked above as the spinning earth swept her hair off, her face and neck...down, down setting in the morning sky
1:57 pm pst10/27/2009
My Rice Krispies were talkin up a storm.
I listened too long. I think they've all drown. 10/17/2009
light captures darkness, but doesn't dissolve it.
8:52 am pdt10/11/2009
A strange mind set has taken over and people believe that kindness makes people gentler, and nicer. You have to keep people honest by expecting them to be honest. Which happens when there is a system of accountability. There are points of view that don't come up in everyday conversations, the types of conversations that long time good friends have. Relationships that have developed over time, which often times get stuck into a rut, but there is a general understanding of what another person has done, or will possibly do. This can be seen in human relationships, neighborhoods, business, weather, tides, and the seasons.
6:55 pm pdtTrying to fit this to a political party makes it an empty shallow notion. 10/9/2009 anabatic
Clutched by history. The truth is always there. Many ways to tell the same story. People can hear what they understand.
8:29 am pdt10/2/2009
Sadly, you can have it both ways. If that is your choice, you will never know the fullness of either way.
9:50 am pdt9/30/2009
Word segregation will continue to be the dividing line. Mince them up and eat them they still pass through undigested. Using words for their full effect. Silence can't be broken. Would you dare step off the path. Can you hear my echoing laughter, eaten alive by convention.
8:17 am pdt9/26/2009 the cycle of equality
Where have the ideas gone that were followed?
7:37 am pdtStart the clock on ideas that were left behind. Fairness doesn't come when everything is equal, the day and the night are equal twice a year. The difference, the tilt is what creates the seasons. Keeping the cycle working. Who would tell an Oak tree, it's better to be a pine tree. Who would tell a pine tree, being an apple tree is best. 9/23/2009
Time isn't wasted when you wait. Waiting for good things to happen is worth every minute, and it's those times that are never forgotten.
7:19 pm pdt9/20/2009 It's the feeling of Fall
The clock goes faster when things hum along. Like things are moving fast. Every thing seems so very right. How can it be that this connection is clear and definitive. It feels like acceleration. Like running across stones in a stream. The wrong step would tangle my feet and I will fall.
6:30 pm pdt9/19/2009
Sitting on the porch, talking. Finding out how little there is to talk about that isn't about other people. Letting people be themselves and finding out who they are. Having things stolen from me. People trying to manuever themselves into my life. Me wanting my turn to be me. Drinking, laughing, being judged. These are the memories that set my choices today. To not go that route again if possible. Being replaced. That is me you are taking.
5:30 am pdt9/13/2009
I saw him yesterday stop to take a rest from the long journey. Traveling ahead of the rest to announce their arrival. Covered in the red mud of the road. Leaning forward supporting himself with his hands placed on the top of his thighs. Traveling light makes him an easy guest, moving along to make the destination.
8:24 pm pdt8/28/2009
When it's complete. I'll still be just me. It doesn't matter what I think I know, It's like I never seem to grow. Tangled in time, pour the wine.
8/25/2009
The color of nothing. You don't realize, with no awareness there's no surprise. The color of nothing, nothing to see. One generation from steel to stone. The color of nothing. The truth, the unknown.
11:49 am pdt8/24/2009 Dancing to cover my tracks
Reading something that creates the feeling of being nauseated. Like a viral infection. My body wants to purge what I've taken in. Things I don't want to re-live, or remember. This seems to be the only way to find resolve. I will manage to digest it and make it useful. I don't have to be controlled by these types of sensations. Even though they seem to overwhelm me. I can finally lay this to rest. Caught off guard by this recurring situation, and react unconsciously, until it catches up to me no more.
All that is said, all that isn't said, the curtain reminds me of things that I dread. Things I hate, that disgust me. When it's my choice I say No! It makes me sick. I have to wait and go on anyway. It doesn't seem fair to be given a choice, when choosing is wrong. This isn't mine to resolve. Tricked, and defeated, I feel small.
8/23/2009
Where is your fear taking you?
The permanence in desire. 8/22/2009
The air is thick. Warm and cool. The sky is gray and swirly. The wind is breathy in the leaves. The fragrance smells like the broken branches of a newly taken path. That clings to your clothing long after your trek is complete. There's a giant waiting outside my door. I can't let him inside. The roof is too low, my teacups too tiny. I'll make him wait to collect his thoughts from his long journey. Giants, I know, think really slow, this one stutters, there really is no other way. Maybe next week, we'll play hide and seek. I know what he wants, but not sure what he'll say. He makes me feel sleepy.
8:29 am pdt8/20/2009 Memories can make you feel little
thinking...
you've taken so much from me.
Sitting down she looked into the mirror. The lines had deepened since the last time she looked at herself this closely.
By taken do you mean put up with?
Okay we can have that conversation too.
I only have my point of view.
You couldn't see me standing there?
No! See it wasn't just you that had to endure.
While you were being dazzled, and entertained. I was fighting for my life, my sanity. To you that looked beautiful, the human struggle. I didn't have the benefit of a script. Each choice was like walking blindfolded, without sound. The clarity took years to realize the importance. I found solace in hope and wonder, until one day that too felt like mere distraction. Women aren't supposed to feel anger, we hide it, and take it out on ourselves. What eventually happens is strength and being. Memories can make you feel little.
8/19/2009 stories trying to be told
Like fabric is held together by individual threads, each unique, woven together creating something. A cloth covering the unique wearer we have the right to choose what other people see.
"Let the wind blow their hair." "Can we sit and watch the girls twirl in their long flowing dresses?" He asked "If we sit quietly, they'll never know we want to matter to them some how." "If we tell them how it makes us feel to see them act like girls, they'll never believe we are that simple." "Will it create in them the feeling of pride or power to control."
8/17/2009
Green fruit will ripen off the vine, it never tastes as sweet. When love becomes a chore you become a whore.
9:13 am pdt8/4/2009
Love rhymes with ' of ', it doesn't rhyme with ' over '
1:13 pm pdt7/27/2009
at night there is a calmness
the day doesn't know
the day has the light
the heat
when time ticks slowly
it can be night or day
the night see's it different
behind the back of the sun
7/21/2009 now it's baroque
A cup I made years ago, I've been using ceremonially, broke today. All the things I've created over the years, the things I've destroyed intentionally. The things I've destroyed unintentionally. The place before creation, the combining of thoughts, and my hands working to make something happen. Back to the beginning, the source. The things that happened without effort, the things I've agonized over. The things I couldn't appreciate because I didn't know how. The things that made me feeling worthy, the things I hid from everyone. What does any of it matter since it is just things bound in a creative moment, to break into irregular pieces, shapes, meaningless, in my hand. The same hand that created, has now destroyed, my mind elsewhere, not focused on the moment. Out of my hands, something I can't control, so many things don't seem to matter. All this for what? The common feeling. Something that needs to be known, a building block, a foundation. I can't predict, predicting makes the moment useless.
12:55 pm pdt7/16/2009
A place built for another purpose, now is only useful to explore, is not inspiring It's a place of mourning, if it has lost it's usefullness, it's purpose...with specks of dust on your feet, shake it off, leave the effect scattered around, to be caught by the wind, settled until disturbed. I understand. The choices, the chance, bold no. It wasn't a whim, I wanted to know
8:41 am pdt7/10/2009
Like the earth spins, I spin. When things seem so perfect and balanced I watch and wait for the inevitable moment when everything changes. Those are the moments I seek, not for the chaos. I seek the unknown, it's what my eyes were made for, it's what my heart beats for, that's where my thoughts are clear. I wait for the image to come it lasts a brief and burning second, but it's sharp and detailed. It never makes sense until later, sometimes hours, days, years. Fixed in my memory like flipping through a picture book. I can't predict, harness or control this, nor would I want to. I imagine this is something shared with me from my lineage. The survival instinct that gets passed through the ages. The understanding, thefirmhold, thebind, theblood, theunspoken, thenotch, themarker, familair ground.
4:36 am pdt6/30/2009
When full we see half the moon
6/7/2009
mutually exclusive
mutually inclusive
6/6/2009
Last night I dreamed I was given a white enameled egg with thin silver lines painted on it creating diamond shapes. This egg turned gold in my hands, and then a deep red. I heard her voice say:
"You can't force something that will happen naturally."
Three times.
I woke up more tired than when I fell asleep.
The egg felt warm in my hand as it changed before my eyes.
When it was turning red I felt a warmth begin deep inside me. I began to sweat. The change was quick, and subtle. It left me with the feeling that comes after receiving a long awaited treasure. There is an elation, and an emptiness. There is a feeling of wanting to share it was everyone, and wanting to hide it. Replaying the moment over and over in my mind to further the experience. Like an obsession that moves the human spirit to new levels. From one point of view it erodes, from another point of view it is rebirth. Breaking down into simpler pieces allows new forms to take shape. There is no place to hold on to it is meant to pass through your fingers.
6/4/2009
How come there's a symbol for
infinity,
but
there's no symbol for
never?
5/31/2009 My "six word story"
We never get beyond the foreplay
9:56 am pdt5/26/2009
I dreamed again of hands that reach for me, grab my waist then push me away. Standing in a grove of trees, I hear musical instruments being played. In a dream within that dream I see a man standing at the center of a group of people he is trying to get them to sing with him from the paper he holds in his hand. Knowing that we tried to sing from the same page, and it pulled my heart from my chest, and threw it on the floor. It was kicked and stepped on, full of life. Beaten. A pulse still beating. Trying to explain things that can't be seen, I feel like my only friend. Talk for me, or my words will be mistaken. A dream I can't awaken from until...
12:23 pm pdt5/14/2009
back to me
when all else fails
where it began
I never set out to lose
I left behind opinions unformed
I found truth within the folds
a long glimpse was as good as it got
it's the memory that fills in details
none of us are only pieces
5/11/2009
Threadbare well-worn marked hoary
5/6/2009
Lies are embraced for personal gain. When that creates a stumbling block it's called a tragedy, people line up with their empty cups and the illusion fades. There is nothing more sorrowful, than when you've lost your way. The path of the void is the only thing I'm good at. Humans adapt even if they don't understand.
3:19 pm pdt5/1/2009
The Golden glow
The Starry cloak
The Turquoise bow
4/20/2009
Everytime I hear a Meadowlark singing it reminds me of an old wooden shed on the neighbors property. It wasn't painted. There was no door in the threshold, and no glass in the window. Built and forgotten, it became home to a Meadowlark. Earl, the man that lived next door told me he would set his dog's hair in curlers every night to make his coat curly. Believing that, it's wasn't hard to imagine he had befriended a family of birds living in his shed. He lived in an old house that was built off the ground there were steps to his back door. I never went inside his house, but in my mind I could picture him having lunch with mice families. I could see a large spider handing him the curlers one at a time while his dog sat patiently accustomed to all the attention. I don't think I've ever recovered from having to move from that house. I have so many memories of living there, that still find their way into my dreams.
3/30/2009 3/16/2009
once upon a moonless sky
fingers wrapped in oak leaves dried
sharp and pointy
I wondered why
arose from the ground
by the thorny tree
for ever
form ally
2/16/2009
valid the feeling
2/2/2009
February has it's icy grip
the month of lovers numb
a time when you can see your breath mist
a hatred for this white landscape
it's beauty, and all that it conceals
short and sweet and mostly even though it's different
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| 5/29/2005Forgiveness cont...
I am still on this subject of forgiveness. Is forgiveness connected to our ability to see ourself. Not the same as seeing our reflection, but of seeing the person we are. The choices we make. Is forgiveness connected to our ability to see our faults. If we are to forgive another we have to be kind to ourself. Forgiveness I would think has to go beyond our ability to admit our own faults. Unless the spoke word is just that powerful. If we can admit our own fault aloud and be kind to ourselves. Is this what is known as forgiveness. Is this where forgiveness begins.
8:14 am pdt5/24/2005Forgiveness
If a person forgives another before resolving the issue, is this denial? Is the power of forgiveness so strong that it brings about the needed resolve? Does forgiving a person create changes. I'm wondering if forgiveness starts the healing process, or is forgiveness a result of the healing process?
5:21 pm pdt5/22/2005Reflection
Who was the first person to see their own reflection? I don't know who, but I will imagine a person looking into water. Seeing their image for the first time is no different then when we see ourselves in a reflection. A mirror, a picture, is an image of what we look like. Think about the ways we can see our own face. Realize it is an image of what we look like.
3:31 pm pdt5/21/2005Hi
Welcome to my site...Enjoy
7:56 am pdt |
stitches ~Some wounds need stitches to heal
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