Yesterday my routine was broken. I broke it. I'm good at breaking things. On accident, on purpose, who knows, who cares. I was driving along. I noticed there were no cars trying to pass me, no cars driving too slow that I needed to pass. Clear road. So I pulled over to the shoulder. Parked the car. I got out and walked to the passenger side of the car and I screamed "Life isn't fair!". Why why has it always been this challenge after that challenge to come to a moment in time when everything seems to be balanced. I find myself so far away from everything I'm interested in pursuing. Everything seems impossible, then out of the blue everything is possible. In the dirt by the side of the road. I looked to see if a bush was going to catch fire. Maybe God would appear to wrestle with me, or change my name, or strike me mute. Then I remembered God only does that sort of business with guys. God likes women that are humble, virginal, servantile. I picked up a fistful of dirt and tossed it in the air. Gritty dust remained on my palm. It's easy to forget the intensity, when the particles that remain wash off completely.
It's not what you think it's what you believe. Patricia '96
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