Working amongst friends. They had tuned their working relationship into a destructive tool. It was unstoppable. The weakest link in the foursome was drawn out like a moth to the flame. She felt confident in her abilities. Not having to defend herself alone. She was used to getting special attention. Her appearance was kept up not a hair out of place. She thought of herself as a blonde. She treated people like she was a blonde. She wanted desperately to be blonde and Caucasian. She didn't know why. Thoughts never needed to develop fully, her friends filled in all the empty spaces. Her husband and children a distant reality from her alter ego work space. She expected the males around her to talk with her at length. She expected the males around her to be engaged by her interests. She could always get her way. Things unfolded on cue. She had grown to expect that.
Side glances from a guy with his looks never go unnoticed. Before long he was smiling directly at her. She found herself looking for him. Her thoughts wandered. She wanted to feel him touching her. She would step in front of him to act absentminded. He would lightly touch her shoulder, not to startle her. She would tilt her head to draw out the fantasy play. The feelings between them developing. Her reasoning unexplored. His reasoning unquestioned. The truth was developing how long could this continue. Her expectation wasn't wanting to meet his rage. He wasn't preparing her for it. His rage was being set aside for someone else. She was an alibi to make himself seem social, controlled, sane. She was simple enough to believe her worth was highly prized. The story completed by her well developed ego. Nothing for her to fear.
It's not what you think it's what you believe. Patricia '96
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