Am I allowed to have a purpose in life

Sunday I got home around 5:00 a.m. I usually go to sleep but I didn't get that drowsy feeling.   Every Sunday I help out but, you know I'm not ready to reveal that much peripheral information.  I have other things to say.  Anyhow I couldn't sleep I guess the seven hours of sleep was sufficient or that cup of coffee was still working.  I actually think it was because I still feel stressed about losing my job and not finding a new one.  Also there are unresolved questions and strange occurrences from my former job I'm still trying to detox from.  I don't need any of this to make sense.  I have to work on not reacting urgently to things where my opinion doesn't matter.

I browsed the Internet, while I made a loaf of bread.  I met a friend to go hiking in a canyon South of town.  We met at our usual coffee spot.  I got there first.  I noticed a man staring at me when I looked at him he didn't look away.  I started to feel a sense of panic.  I sent my friend a text "hurry".  When he got there the man that had been staring had actually been waiting for his wife and family.  He got into the family car and started pointing at me.  So I pointed back at him.  It was silly and one of those situations that contain lots of unsaid feelings of whatever the hell that was about type stuff.  I told my friend to come see the drawing of Mary someone put on an olive tree, like a shrine.  A young man walked up I asked if he knew who drew it, and if someone died. This began a conversation about God.  He seemed willing to tell me his story.  When my friend joined the convo he stopped giving details and said he met God. As he walked away he said remember God does it.  He came back to tell us more about himself.  I asked if he was on drugs.  He said he had been arrested. The situation was strange and getting stranger.  We drove away, my friend and I talked about the different reactions we got from him.  My friend joked and said sometimes I think my last words are going to be: I knew hanging around you was going to get me killed.

We made it to the canyon.  It was barricaded off.  To many people being stupid ruined the spot.  It is weird how the newcomers to town spray paint and throw trash in places that were once nice remote places to explore.  We ended up walking to a different location.

I stopped on the way home to pick up food at a fast food spot.  I went inside to order.  A family brought their child who was obviously sick.  He vomited on the floor near the soda machine.  The woman wiped the child's face and dropped the napkins on the floor.  She never told the employees so they could clean up the mess.  I told one of the employees what happened before someone slipped and hurt themselves.  She went to the food counter without going into the restroom to wash her hands.  They called my number the woman went to grab my bags. I yelled "Don't touch my food you have barf on your hands".  I suppose a little bit of shared germs keeps you inoculated.  There were three adults one of them couldn't have stayed home with the sick child?

It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96