She felt like everything she did was wrong.  All her actions were received as antagonistic. She was being summed up and characterized.  She wanted to create a distraction. She couldn't. She was at the mercy of the reality of other people.  She hated being subject to that sort of agendized thought but there it was.  Having to relinquish so many habits at once left her feeling at odds with her surroundings.  No longer familiar, no longer safe. The change didn't fit well at first.  She would pretend even if it made her uncomfortable.  Didn't seem to be the issue for anyone else. Besides no one cared or listened anyway.  This might be easier to navigate without  effort.

It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96