Repulse

Her arms pulled me near. The fat warm and soft like an old woman is allowed to be. If she ends up that way there's a space for women like that. Especially if she is nice and pleasant company.  Being drawn in is met with being pushed away.  The required space outside the boundary of skin.  I knew her by what people said about her when she wasn't around.  She was helpful and charitable to me if three encounters can sum up a person's character.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

Catholic clergy abuse ... church problems are people problems

https://www.westernmagazine.com.au/story/5925347/cardinal-george-pell-heckled-at-court/?cs=9397

"We want to see him fry in hell forever.

     I heard the guy say this on the news just now. It startled me and got me thinking.  He wants a window seat.  A perch.  It sounded common and familair, but in a new sense.  I could see how everyday conversation it sounded.  The conclusion drawn by persons unlearned in struggling.  A romantized view of pain, a childish concept of forever.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

I haven't had much to add here because too many variables made my thoughts confused. Now I have a course, a path to follow. This is a beginning in a sense of something new for me.
Over the past six months I've been dealing with health issues. I'm starting a treatment plan today.  I'm apprehensive, and hopeful.  My diagnosis was elusive.  Lots of tests but each came back saying I was healthy.  I kept feeling like I could get beyond my symptoms, until I couldn't. Finally a test showed a direction to investigate and anyhow here I am.  I need to get beyond the physical limits I'm dealing with. Also being frustrated by not falling into a standard category.  I felt like I was being pushed to communicate with people I didn't want to talk to.  As if somewhere there are written rules or at least that was how I was being approached.  I dodged as much as I could, only to be presented with more.  I'm expected to understand unwritten rules?  Okay, if I have nothing nice to say, it's best to say nothing.

It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

never the truth

a lie is never the truth no matter who believes it


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

If I'm the blame?

Is it unchanging? How can it be the one thing in life that can't be changed. If I'm the blame I should feel responsible but I don' know how. If I'm the blame that is powerful. If the blame is what I see the different side of. If the blame Is how I learned to exist in a world that doesn't have a place for me.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

Deceit

Until you've experienced it you have no way of comprehending crocodile tears.


It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96

Long ago in a reality that never completely existed

It's not what you think it's what you believe.  Patricia '96