Here it is the end of February. I'm still unemployed. Today I have an appointment at the unemployment office. I'm hoping it will be a sadistic encounter. I don't know what point in time I realized I love to be be abused, and degraded. It has become my life in many beautifully fascinating ways. The flush of embarrassment. The warmth takes over your body. Those comforting warm sensations in front of everyone. They stare in wonder. Knowing in that moment in that group I'm not being envied or despised. I'm alone in a group of humans. It is a fantastic feeling. So I'll be at my required meeting hoping there is still some sort of job in the State of California for a quirky 50+ white woman with a robust sense of humor.
It's not what you think it's what you believe. Patricia '96
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